139 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
139 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
May I have your attention, please?
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May I have your attention, please?
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Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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I repeat: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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We're gonna have a problem here
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Y'all act like you've never seen a white person before
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Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
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And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
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They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (ahh!)
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It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
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He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
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And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots
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Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha, ha!)
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Feminist women love Eminem
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"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
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Look at him walking around grabbing his you-know-what
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Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though"
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Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
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But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms (Uhh-uhh-uhh!)
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Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose but can't
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But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
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"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
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And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
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And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
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And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
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Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade
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They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
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We ain't nothing but mammals... well, some of us, cannibals
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Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
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But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
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Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (eugh!)
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But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
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Women wave your pantyhose; sing the chorus, and it goes
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I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
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Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you, too
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You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
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Half o' you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
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"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
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Why, so you guys can just lie to get me here?
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So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
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Yo shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
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And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
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Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
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"Yeah he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hehe"
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I should download her audio on MP3
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And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (ahh!)
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I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups; all you do is annoy me
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So I have been sent here to destroy you
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And there's a million of us just like me
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Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
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Who dress like me, walk, talk, and act like me
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And just might be the next best thing but not quite me
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only giving you
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Things you joke about with your friends, inside your livin' room
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The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
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And I don't gotta be false or sugar-coat it all
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I just get on the mic and spit it
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And whether you like to admit it (rip), I just shit it
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Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
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Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
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It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty
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I'll be the only person in the nursin' home flirting
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Pinchin' nurses asses, while I'm jackin' off with Jergens
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And I'm jerkin', but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workin'
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In every single person there's a Slim Shady lurkin'
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Who could be workin' at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
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Or in the parking lot circling, screamin' "I don't give a fuck"
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With his windows down and his system up
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So will the real Shady please stand up
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And put one of those fingers on each hand up
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And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
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And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
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All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
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So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
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Please stand up, please stand up?
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Haha, guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
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Fuck it, let's all stand up
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_________________________
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Name The Real Slim Shady
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Artist Eminem
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Album Curtain Call
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